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Checkpoint

by Contraplans

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1.
Only Words 04:06
i was waiting in the airport til the batteries had gone. i couldn't help but count the minutes, i think the coffee brought it on. you flashed across my lashes and it made my heart stop. It always seems to happen when there's nothing going on. How would i know if it's you i miss the most? Or if it's just the me you helped to mould.. the one that ceased to exist the day you didn't get the joke. I'll walk it off, it's only words not sticks and stones but they're referencing a debt i'll always owe, to those girls and those times. But, they've been and gone. So i guess what i'm saying is i've no desire to bring you home because, no matter where i've laid this hat i've seldom felt alone. but somedays . when i feel less than what i was i think of who you made me briefly and thats when my hat comes off. . .
2.
On Call 04:57
If you saw the way i'm living, you wouldn't recognised the scent on me. I smell old. If you knew the things i'm thinking, you wouldn't want to break your bread with me. I'm restless and on call. It's never enough, i stare at the phone. There's always somewhere else to go. Its never enough, i never had it so good. . but i remain on call. If you heard the things i'm saying, you wouldn't recognise the way i speak. I sound cold If you knew the places i've been, you would want to share your bed with me. I'm restless and on call .. It's never enough, i stare at the wall. There's always somewhere else to go. Its never enough, i never had it so good. . but i remain on call. I've been searching for so long i missed the boat.
3.
Last Legs 04:08
Dare i say? We've dropped the ball again. We said we'd never let ourselves resemble the one thing we can't stand. Now at best we're comfortable, sedated but aware. We're falling faster the more we try to force it. Although i said i'm fine, there's one thing i can't digest. How could you let me find out this way? This frustrated mess we're been calling home of late, is on phantom power with skeleton staff at home time on the last day of term. These last legs feel decomposed, corroded and condemned. Predisposed to mourn the passing... Dare i say, we've dropped the ball again. It appears we let ourselves become the one thing we could not stand. Now at least we're left alone, but vulnerable and frail. We faded faster the more we tried to force it.
4.
If it seems disgusting, the world at large don't know. Your method of adjusting was to ask no more. But we know, where there's a want, there's a way. Lust can be misleading when the heart's involved. You're out on the offensive until the role's reverse. And we know, where there's a want, there's a way. We need something but, we look in the wrong place. We cultivate dependence until the garden grows. We contemplate the meaning until our hearts grow cold. But we know, where there's a want, there's a way. You think outside the box in your own little way. You've stepped outside the garden, alone.
5.
Seventeen 04:03
She poured forth all her doubts and trusted i would take the time to understand. I'd never been the one to lean on when your down but i'd read Huxley & 1984 and quoted unannounced but was not inclined to comprehend. Instead of helping we just dragged each other down. . . but being down is part of growing up. We said no one could make us laugh anymore. We said no one could make us open up . . We missed the irony again .. . . We'd walk round, talking tough, shouting poetry we'd never understand. Downing drinks to break on through to the other side. We never made it. . further than the offy for a second helping, stashing beers in bushes. We never found the answers 'cause the questions went un-asked. . and now i laugh at how. . . But i'm not sad At least in the traditional sense. Because given half the chance, I'd do it all again. I wish i was seventeen again.
6.
Be a cold day in hell i said, was quickly on my toes it was so far out of joint i didn't recognise my nose and i don't know whose mistake it was, i guess i'll never know but instead of resting on the sick i was ratting on the dole so he took me under his wing, that's the type of bloke he was even though he was barely old enough to blow his own fucking nose so we handled independence well because we weren't alone living in the shithouse chocolate factory excuse for a home now it's gone? Where's it gone? all that potential? Soaked up in sand. it was gradually we made our inroads out to selly oak that's where a girl soon came between us but of course we made it work and we'd always need a new excuse to not open up the pub till you'd won back all the taking's that you'd blasted on the slots you know we could have fed the five thousand with the breakfasts that we stole and when the fruit machines got lifted you had held open the doors lucky Boss knew you were guilty of nothing but naivety but you caught up with the world so fast it wasn't so much later you were. . . Gone where's it gone? all that potential? Soaked up in sand. I'd spent a whole day on a train and i was just about to drop when i heard the implication you would not be coming home i was an extra 1500 miles from where i wished to be and these legs couldn't take me fast enough but i had nowhere to go you were on the front page of the papers and they called you a hero but i selfishly wished they'd found someone else to fight their fucking war but thats not the way you saw the world so i left that grief at home and i'll celebrate the memories of the time..... before you were gone.
7.
If the alarm is raised one day without a warning who will be on the boat? they're telling us just enough to keep us working to oil the machine they're playing us and force-feeding us horror stories to keep us on our toes because they know that panic makes us bypass logic. . whose holding the keys? I guess we will never know They're blinding us, with puppet's that obscure the purpose can't fight what you can't see this precious ground that someone designated holy Is just Oil to them .. Distracting us with fairy tales and the specifics and how they should be told enshrined in law, so medicine is rationed and controlled who profits from this? I guess we will never know
8.
Change 03:50
Have we forgotten how to be multi-functional? Have we forgotten whose responsible for maintaining the balance? Do we allow ourselves to be educated By congregations with agenda's, we don't care to understand? So raise your hand, if you don't understand. So when we tell ourselves we're the finished article, An evolution that has origins in nothing more than man. Our predilection for abundance makes us vulnerable To make concessions that would guarantee impossible demands. Don't play their game, if you don't understand. So can we contemplate facing the inevitable With the purpose of engaging in a rational advance? Have we forgotten something that we knew to be true? Before the darkness that we only just begin to comprehend? Don't turn your back, on the one thing you have. Don't walk away from the one thing you can change.

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released November 22, 2013

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Contraplans Birmingham, UK

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